Meet Edwin

Are you trapped in a recurring nightmare being “trapped” in a dysfunctional work situation or past memories from your childhood? 

Have you ever felt angry, betrayed or abandoned?

How about all of these and even more? 

Me too!

I felt angry, betrayed, abandoned and so much more. It felt like a slow motion train wreck that deep inside I felt it was coming but did not know when or how.

My emotions were in a whirlwind, many of which I had never allowed myself to feel before. 

I was unable to comprehend what was happening at that moment. 

Were my ears betraying me? 

Was I really hearing what I thought I was hearing?

Her office had become a familiar place. 

I told myself: “Not again!”

Like many others,  Maria also doubted my integrity.

In a split second she questioned everything about me, believed all the lies that were said without even asking me my side of the story.

It was a betrayal of trust that I had experienced before …

… with my own mother who had abandoned me completely and left me in the streets three weeks after my sixteenth birthday and left the country to live with her lover.  

I was in a recurring nightmare “trapped” both in an extremely dysfunctional work situation and recurring horrific past memories from my childhood! TOXIC!

Bad memories and emotions bubbled up to the surface that I had not dealt with up to that point in time in my life. They burst out all at once, uncontrollably. 

And then …. POOF…. gone in 90 seconds!

My Income and livelihood… gone!

My retirement plans… gone!

My security… gone!

My health insurance… gone!

And so much more!!!

I was put in a place where I was forced to deal with the heavy emotions that were not serving me once and for all.

Being the man of the house, I wondered how could I support my family?

I felt as if I had failed them.

How would this impact my special needs son? 

Would he get the care he so desperately needed? 

Would he have to change providers – when he just became comfortable with his current ones?

I was beyond words and furious at everyone involved.  How dare they! 

Two weeks before that day I sat in Maria’s office – I had been on top of the world.

I had just received a $16,000 a year raise!  My biggest one ever!

Maria knew me for over 25 years. I thought she knew my character. I thought that she was someone that I could trust.

The journey I had been on was all leading up to this moment in time. 

Now, I was forced to live out exactly what I had written an entire book about …

Three months before losing my job, I published my first book, Closing the 18-Inch Gap, which is the space between your heart and your mind.

It’s the gap between what you desire and dream of (your heart) and the limiting beliefs and false stories that keep you from getting there (your mind).

Your heart has desires to live out the movies you create in your mind, however your subconscious mind works against you achieving these desires.

Your subconscious mind tells you things like:

• It’s too late, I missed my turn.
• I’m too old, I should have started years ago
• It costs too much, and I don’t have the money
• I’m not strong enough, so I’ll just fail anyway
• I’m not smart enough and there’s no time to learn

Your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe, that’s why it comes up with every reason it can to prevent you from starting.

Remember the childhood memories I wrote about earlier?

That’s a big source of where this is coming from.

On the other hand, you may work your butt off until you’re about 90% complete, then your subconscious mind starts coming up with more excuses as to why you should not complete it. 

That’s not to say that you may be stuck in the middle. You may start with a lot of determination, then those voices in your head keep you from doing what needs to be done.

Regardless of if you’re stuck at the beginning, the middle, the end, or perhaps haven’t even started ….

That’s how I felt after 27 years as a probation officer: STUCK!

Had I stayed, my income had maxed out. There was nowhere to go – and I would have stayed there stagnant for another 13 years!

I saw no way out of a dead-end job. It took me a while, but then I realized that Maria had given me a gift.  

Yeah, the money was nice.

But my heart wanted to know how I was to continue helping myself, my family, and the tens of thousands of people whose lives I wanted to touch.

As a Probation Officer, I helped people face mistakes they had made all their life, deep addictions, and deep debt, with no hope, no one to believe in them, and so much more. 

It was very frustrating.

I saw men and women from all walks of life come to my desk. 

Some from wealthy families, others reliant on welfare.

There were, lawyers, executive CEOs, successful business owners, white- and blue-collar workers, seniors, mothers, fathers, addicts, undocumented citizens and any other walk of life you can think of.

What I learned through this job helped me be a better person …

… To have compassion. 

… To try to have a better understanding of what people were going through

… To ask myself how I could help them when I saw them.

I always wanted to know that if my young son ever fell into some kind of trouble and needed some help, that someone would be there for him the way I have been there for so many all of those years.

Yet at my old job, I saw myself as a young boy being emotionally abused, feeling helpless, and not having a voice.

I was SO FURIOUS because I KNEW I don’t belong there anymore – but couldn’t seem to find a way to get out.

That’s EXACTLY what happens inside emotionally: my healthy, healed part of me (adult Edwin) is ready to leave the dysfunction behind.

But the wounded, loyal child part of me was still tied to the system.

I had a raging war within myself – freedom vs. loyalty.

I was desperate for approval and applause that never came because they never cared to begin with no matter how loyal I was to the job. I was dying carrying shame and silence that was never mine to begin with.

Back in my college days, I completed an internship at a Juvenile Delinquency Facility. Interestingly, the very same one that I had been in as a teen.

One of the directors there, that knew me both as an inmate and intern, saw a bright future for me. He gave me hope and a new way at looking at life. He always told me, “Pressure is what you make it.”

It took me almost thirty years to finally realize what that meant. Like the wise saying goes: “When the student is ready, the teacher arrives”. 

My question to you is, are you ready?

The younger generation is looking for the next steppingstone to advance their careers.

Imagine a twenty-one-year-old that knows nothing about life having the power to take your freedom away with just a signature. 

That’s scary! Let me ask you, are you giving that same power to your past memories!

I saw firsthand the legal system that was not always a fair system. I saw how it was very biased in how they treated people based on many factors.

 In the midst of all this chaos I learned to stay focused. 

I never let my dreams die or go cold. 

Although I could not see a way out at the moment during that time, I knew somehow, I would get out of where I was working and make a much bigger difference in impact. 

And this is the battle ground where you too can break through barriers and build bold dreams.

Every word you just read today tells just a part of my story.

Many of these words will challenge you. Others will champion you.

But all of them—when understood—can and will shape you for the better.

Your dream isn’t just possible.

It’s waiting on the version of you who’s ready.

Are you ready to get started?

Is today the day you take that first step?

Are you tired of dysfunction and an unbalanced life?

Balance is not something you find; it’s something you create.

Your biggest fears are what carry your greatest growth.

Don’t let fear stop you.

Keep daring, keep developing, and most of all, keep dreaming.

During our Next-Level Dream Chat, we will:

• Gain clarity about your dream and weigh the possibilities that come with it
• Uncover hidden challenges that have been holding you back
• Identify the next steps to move forward with confidence

Your unrealized dream doesn’t have to stay that way. Let’s talk.

I look forward to hearing your story and walking with you as you begin your journey to close your own 18-inch gap.

Edwin Soler
Your Dream Realization Partner